Reality Check

Good Morning. It's Monday morning, January 4th... 6:49AM.
Kenny here.

Today is a bit of Reality coming your way. I need to be honest, while at the same time optomistic, and must admit this is a little hard for me because I don't want to be a discouragement to anyone reading this... especially for anyone who may have PD and is considering DBS.

I've heard it said, over and over, that DBS is not a cure. They're correct-it's not. However, when comparing 'before and after', it comes pretty close.

This morning I woke with a bit of a shuffle, and heaviness, and a bit of muscle ache in my legs. Right now my typing is not impacted, except to say that I'm having a hard time keepin' my eyes open. I'm a bit tired today.

I'm sleeping with a new CPAP (don't worry, that's not a code name for a girlfriend or something - it's a breathing apparatus for Sleep Apnea, with a mask that covers my nose.) I used to have a full face mask, but apparently don't need that since my nose was fixed last June to open up the air passage. Last night was the first night I slept with it on all night. My PD symptoms have interferred with the CPAP usage since I started using it a couple of years ago. Using it all night is a good thing, but for some reason, I'm quite tired right now.

Please understand, I'm not complaining... it's just a reality check. What I don't want to happen is for me to be SO optomistic that I give you the wrong impression that everything is PERFECT. By doing that, I'd be living a lie, and that's not where I want to be. I don't want to walk around town, putting on a great show of strength and vitality that is misleading. I just want to be real.

The fact is, I still have Parkinsons Disease..... and will have it until a cure is found. The DBS surgery has profoundly improved my condition, but occasionally, symptoms peek though, especially in response to stress or strong emotion. Maybe that's why I'm struggling a little this morning: Beckie and I went to the theatre last night to see AVATAR in 3D.

Now, you have to realize --- I have not been inside a movie theatre for 3 years. Why? Because when the plot gets exciting, I shake. The more emotion, the more tremor. So, for the sake of everyone in our row, and everyone behind us, I have just avoided the movie houses until now. Last night was a test - and I passed. I think.

AVATAR is amazing - it's the future of cinematic presentations. That technology, and the future of holograms will blur the line of Reality for our grandchildren ten or fifteen years from now. That's a bit scary considering that the subconscious mind can't tell the difference between reality and imagination at times.

AVATAR is intense. A couple of times, my tremor broke through when the action got heated up. We got home at 10pm and I wasn't able to fall asleep until 1:30am. Woke up at 6:30. That's probably why I'm tired right now. Duh!

At any rate, I'm realizing that I must be careful. My body is out of shape from inactivity for the last couple of years. I've been pushing the envelope since programming and need to find some sort of balance, physically. I will, in time...

In addition, Beckie and I had a significant conversation last night about our present and future situations, confronting some giants in our lives, calling them by names and agreeing together where and how the battle should be fought. Thank God we can do that. Otherwise, I think we would have self-destructed long ago. That whole process also was emotionally stressful. Actually, adding that to the movie, I'm doing pretty good today. Before programming, I would have been paralyzed for a whole day as a result.

All in All, things are good.

The good news, is that I've been sitting here for an hour, early in the morning, and have been typing freely and relatively quickly.

I'm waking up now... it's 8 o'clock.