2010 - Remember When?

Remember when I was diagnosed, but not wanting to take any medication yet (because of the possible negative effects of the pills)?

Remember what it was like with Parkinson's without medication? ... couldn't tie my shoes, couldn't brush my teeth, couldn't shave, couldn't push my arms through the sleeves of my shirts to get dressed, couldn't push my belt through the loops, etc. etc. etc.?

It scares me to think that if I had lived 75 years ago with the same condition - no medications, no technology - what would I have done? It would have been unbearable, no doubt. I would have been consumed by PD and not able to function at all...

Well, thank God it's 2010. Amen. (Poetry in action)

Remember when we were with our daughters for Thanksgiving 2005. Jenna perceived that something was wrong. I didn't want her to worry, and answered her probing questions with, "Oh nothing. I'm fine." She was persistent however, and I finally told the truth, "Something IS wrong with me, honey. Something bad is happening." We cried.

Remember when two years earlier, my best friend Bill McLean was dying from Lou Gehrig's disease (ALS). He and I were communicating one day, (he couldn't speak the last 3 years of his life, so we 'communicated' - I talked and he nodded) and I said, "Bill, I would take this from you if I could." Two years later, sitting in the doctor's office, waiting for him to announce my sentence, I remembered those words to Bill and prayed, "Oh God, please. Not ALS." When I heard the doctor say the word "Parkinson's" there was almost a feeling of relief for me (not for Beckie - she knew what was ahead). I really didn't understand the road I would travel.

Remember when, in 2006, I took some dopamine medication for the first time, I thought I was cured. The symptoms magically disappeared ... for a while. Then more meds, and more meds, and more meds... until this year, when for a while, I was only getting a couple of hours a day when I could be productive and functional.

Remember when Beckie and I had some real arguments for the first time in our 37 years of marriage... triggered by the transparency created by a debilitating and chronic illness. We're still working though some of those, but communication lines are open and we're okay. Actually, things are really good right now because of the things we've addressed... Deep emotional things. (we're going to write a book on 'Relationships in Crisis". Watch for it...

The ensuing 2 1/2 years have been a blur. Medications helped me function. Work kept me busy. Beckie became my caretaker, office manager, cook, maid, business partner, Leo's grandmother, driver... loving wife - and more.

Remember when Linda Plummer and Abbie Cesena called us and asked us to lunch. I never turn down lunch. (I have the waistline to prove it). At Sopa Thai restaurant they presented their plan to put on a show - a theatrical extravaganza - as a benefit to raise money to help us through this time, looking forward to DBS surgery.

Remember that show. I'll never forget it. It was one of the most impactful evenings of my life.

Remember autumn of 2009 - the whirlwind trips to Stanford Hospital in November - the testing - the Pre-op sessions.

Remember having to go off medications everytime we went to Stanford. (remember what I said earlier about 75 years ago....)

Remember Beckie's concern and almost melt-down.

Remember Dr. Henderson and Tracy putting screws in my skull with a cordless electric drill.

Remember getting approval to videotape the operation....and the flurry of paperwork surrounding it.

Remember my son-in-law being in the O.R. for the entire 4 hour ordeal (as a video assistant).

Remember the painful cramps in my left leg throughout the surgery.

Remember the look of relief on Beckie's face when they wheeled me out to the waiting area ..... ALIVE!

Remember sleeping for 3 days after surgery (anethesia induced, we think).

Remember dreading going back after 5 days for more surgery (chest implant)

Remember how Beckie seemed like a 1000 pound weight had lifted from her shoulders.

Remember how my symptoms came back with a vengeance a week after surgery.

Remember the week before I was programmed. I was a mess. Couldn't work. Didn't want to eat. Mentally outta here. Probably had some depression going on...

Remember the day I was programmed. BAD - no meds. GOOD - program success.

Remember seeing Ron and Nikki Rollins a couple of days later. Their response has become a ritual now, with almost everyone I run into: They look at me - then stare - then just start smiling - really big smiles -- These people never stop smiling .....

Remember, Remember, Remember.

Today is Janary 1, 2010. It has been 19 days since I was "Turned on". It's as good today as it was then. People ask me what it's like. Well, I don't feel any sensation from the current. I get surface headaches frequently from the wires under my skin. The benefits are tremendous, though. My life has been changed.

I'm still taking minimal medication to fill in the blanks. But really, the implants are like have the perfect medication all the time, no dips, no OFF time. Sure some sypmtoms break through - that's what supplemental meds are for.

All in All, I'm blessed. My life is good. I've got the best partner and wife in the whole world.

My kids love us, we love them. I have Parkinson's Disease - maybe always will. I'll just have to cover it up with technology and medication until they find a real cure. They will. And I believe it will be with Adult Stem Cells harvested from my own body.

Remember when you last thanked God for your health and vitality?

Do it right now.

caio'
Kenny Wayne